The Theory of Crows and What It Taught Me About Grief

I recently finished reading The Theory of Crows by David A. Robertson, and I didn't expect it to affect me as deeply as it did. I started the book simply wanting to read, but by the end, I found myself thinking about grief, family, land, and my own healing journey.

The part that stayed with me most was the grandfather's passing. As I read it, I kept thinking about my great aunt Gail, who I lost last year to bladder cancer. Grief can be strange. You can be going through your everyday life thinking you're okay, and then something completely unexpected brings someone back to you.

For me, that was this book.

Haudenosaunee Mohawk Artist, Kit Thomas, reading the novel "The Theory of Crows"

The ending affected me just as much. I loved the way the story showed that grief isn't something we simply "move on" from. Through letters and writing, the characters continued to connect with each other and with the person they had lost. The pages were released into the air and burned, and at the end of their journey they released the grandfather's ashes.

It felt less like letting him go and more like learning how to carry him differently.

That idea really stayed with me.

I think we sometimes put too much pressure on ourselves to get over grief. But we don't stop loving someone because they're gone. Their stories, memories, lessons, and influence can continue to live with us. Grief changes shape. We change with it.

I was also deeply moved by the way the book portrayed the land. The land wasn't just a setting. It welcomed the characters and became part of their healing. The idea of land as medicine is something I connect with deeply as a Two-Spirit Indigenous person and artist.

After I finished the book, I actually gave myself time to do that. I laid on the lawn, sat in the sun, spent time outside, drank water, ate something nourishing, and allowed myself space to process what the story had brought up.

Finishing a book became an act of self-care.

It also reminded me why storytelling is such an important part of my own art practice. My artwork comes from memory, childhood, ancestry, experiences, identity, and the way I process the world around me. Sometimes something I can't quite explain becomes a painting instead.

Stories give us another way to understand ourselves. They help us remember where we come from and keep relationships alive, even after someone is gone.

That's what The Theory of Crows gave me.

A reminder that healing doesn't mean forgetting.

Grief isn't something we leave behind.

It's something we learn to carry differently.

If this reflection resonated with you, I'd love to hear what book has stayed with you long after you finished it. Feel free to leave a comment or explore more of my writing and artwork. Every piece I create begins with memory, story, and connection.